Growing up

10 Oct

They struggle a bit to find their own spaces, the lads do. They have to share their books, and the games are all communal. We don’t even really know who owns this T shirt, these shorts, those underpants. Given the logistical difficulties with getting around Abu Dhabi (and plus, did I mention I hate driving) I don’t do any after school stuff that they can’t both do. They do all of the same things all of the time. They always have which has always partly been because I’ve been so very tired ever since they were born really, and the fact that we get anywhere at all sometimes surprises me. They have a pretty intense relationship which makes our jobs as the adults in their lives sometimes simple, sometimes complex.

Until last night, they were even sharing a bed. When they were little, they would start off in separate beds, but we would always find them snuggled in together when we went off to bed, then, when we moved here, we inherited a double and a queen and we just never got around to getting them another bed. And anyway, we do the usual bed hopping that lots of families with young children do me here, him there, that boy here, that boy there. We don’t co-sleep, but the arrangements have always been fairly fluid, especially because I’ve spent a lot of time alone with them and often we’ve gone to bed at the same time.

But that’s changing. Last night, they slept not just in separate beds, but separate rooms. It was all planned and arranged by youngest lad. And while he, youngest lad, was busy organising his new space and his books and his lego and his pokemon cards, eldest was saying, ‘Mum, will you snuggle me before I go to sleep?’

Image: leaving Istanbul train station on their first ever overnight train journey.
train station, istanbul


16 Responses to “Growing up”

  1. Cristy October 10, 2010 at 11:51 am #

    Oh Tracy that’s just too gorgeous! I hope Lily and Charlie are even half as close.

  2. Cristy October 10, 2010 at 11:53 am #

    ps I love that photo.

  3. fifi October 10, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    That is just beautiful.
    I wish my children liked each other so much.

  4. ThirdCat October 10, 2010 at 1:19 pm #

    Thing is, they’re either like that or they’re punching each other. There’s no middle ground.

  5. Deborah October 10, 2010 at 1:24 pm #

    My twins share a room, and they often snuggle up in bed together. It’s just too beautiful when I find them cuddled up together. But they are each pushing for their own space – possibly even more of an issue because they are monozygotic (identical) twins? The younger of the two seems to be more insistent on separate space than the elder.

    • ThirdCat October 10, 2010 at 1:27 pm #

      Rather ridiculously, because they don’t look at all the same and one is considerably taller than the other, at least once a week some stranger stops us and says, ‘Are you boys twins?’. The other day, one of them said, ‘Next time someone asks us, we should say yes.’

      It’s so hard, because really eldest would share a room for ever and ever, but youngest was just desperate for his own, cosy space. I’ve warned them that they’ll have to share when we get back home again, because we don’t really have a spare room.

  6. Jennifer October 10, 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    That is a lovely picture. My two are a bit like that (although I suspect more of the punching), I can’t imagine them not sharing a room.

    • ThirdCat October 10, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

      I’m a little bit heartbroken, to be honest. I’m trying to convince him to go back…

  7. SQ October 10, 2010 at 2:45 pm #

    That photo is beautiful. It makes my heart turn over.

  8. Mindy October 11, 2010 at 3:21 am #

    It’s the little things that get me I find. The squabbling is par for the course, but the cuddle he gave her because she was missing Daddy when he was away nearly brought me undone.

  9. genevieve October 11, 2010 at 11:21 am #

    On a day when I have two beautiful boxes of gerberas and lilies from my sisters for my 50th, this is a great thing to read. Thank you.

  10. Helen October 12, 2010 at 11:55 pm #

    Happy Birthday Genevieve!

    • ThirdCat October 13, 2010 at 7:01 am #

      Yes, very rude of me not to say!
      Happy Birthday, Genevieve!

  11. planetnomad October 16, 2010 at 12:58 am #

    LOVE that pic!
    My oldest was only 20 months when the twins were born, and all 3 shared a room till the twins were 4. When we first moved to Mauritania, I put Ilsa in her own room, and she hated it. Up until she was about 10 or so, she’d go crawl in the boys’ room at night.
    Now they’re 13 and Elliot is 15, and for the first time ever they all have their own rooms! Elliot is THRILLED and Abel is not so sure, but doing fine.
    I know what you mean about fighting or hugging, no in between. That’s life round here too 🙂

  12. genevieve October 21, 2010 at 9:45 am #

    it was very happy, thank you for the wishes!!

  13. Deborah October 21, 2010 at 10:16 am #

    I found my girls in bed together with a few of their soft toys one night.

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