I know it’s just google, but sometimes it really is spooky

25 Jan

Questioning google searches intrigue me. They used to annoy me, librarian-trained as I was when databases were the Next Big Thing, the internet was but a twinkle in Tim Berners-Lee’s eye, and boolean logic was most certainly in the exam. ‘Keywords people,’ I would think. ‘Use the quotation symbols,’ I would snarl from behind my screen.

These days, I’m much less personally affronted by the ‘what time is it in adelaide’, ‘what time is it in adelaide right now’ or ‘what can I do in adelaide’ searches I see in my wordpress dashboard. Life is too short, has moved on, and boolean is just a word.

Besides, I like the poetry of the google questions that come my way. Like today:

can i run away for my 40th birthday

it asked.

Well, dear 39-year-old whoever you are, wherever you currently live, I don’t know what other answers you found, but here’s mine:


Yes, you can run away for your 40th birthday. You can buy a plane ticket, get a stamp in your passport, bury your head in the sand.

But whatever it is you’re running from will, no matter how tightly you pack your suitcase, slide its way into the space between your knickers and your socks. And it won’t come out in the wash.

But that’s okay, because one day, you’ll wake up and you’ll realise that just next week you’re turning 41.

PS And ‘green liquid from back of fridge’ person? If you’re still there…this time of year, my bet’s on basil, bought in a fit of ‘let’s have pesto’ exuberance.


19 Responses to “I know it’s just google, but sometimes it really is spooky”

  1. tut-tut January 25, 2010 at 7:27 pm #

    Happy Birthday! 40; angularity now, rather the the soft curves of that 3 . . .

    • ThirdCat January 25, 2010 at 7:52 pm #

      Thanks! Angularity – that made me laugh.

  2. genevieve January 26, 2010 at 1:09 am #

    Heh, green liquid – sounds like transmission fluid to me.
    I am going to do teh google search for ‘can I run away when I’m fifty’ right now. Thanks TC.

  3. genevieve January 26, 2010 at 1:11 am #

    And from Yahoo Answers, fifth search result in:
    ‘What is a nice 50th birthday message to write in my mums card?
    Not too sentimental, i put my mum through a lot in my teens, running away etc, can any poets think of anything nice to put?’

  4. Mary January 26, 2010 at 2:22 am #

    happy Birthday !! I adore my forties – even with all that’s been thrown at me – I just adore them!

  5. Deborah January 26, 2010 at 3:45 am #

    Happy birthday!

    I’ve been practicing thinking that I am now in my 45th year. I have this vague theory that when 45 rolls around next year, I will have gotten myself used to the concept.

  6. elsewhere January 26, 2010 at 4:01 am #

    Look, I’ve turned my sights to 50 now.

  7. Pen January 26, 2010 at 4:17 am #

    Happy Birthday and I’ll see in in the forties in a year or two. Still somewhat shocked to realise that I didn’t stop at 30.

  8. Pen January 26, 2010 at 4:18 am #

    Happy Birthday and I’ll see you in the forties in a year or two. Still somewhat shocked to realise that I didn’t stop at 30.

  9. Stomper Girl January 26, 2010 at 5:15 am #

    *snort*. I wanted to run away for my 40th too. But as you say it comes with you, you may as well have a party and get the presents I say.

    The number of hits I get for “family fridge” makes me chuckle, I’m sure they’re looking for brand recommendations and all they get is pictures of my fridge magnets.

  10. suse January 26, 2010 at 6:05 am #

    Happy birthday 3C!

    41 sounds quite attractive from where I’m sitting and there’s a phrase I never thought I’d utter.

  11. blackbird January 26, 2010 at 6:31 am #

    I *was* going to say: that’s nothing.
    But, in fact, it’s quite something.
    Still, it seems young to me – though you do seem to be wise.

  12. blackbird January 26, 2010 at 6:32 am #

    I’ve had whiskey tonight.
    You can’t tell, can you?

  13. Helen January 26, 2010 at 9:44 am #

    Yes Happy Birthday TC!
    “Boolean is just a word” sounds like a great title for your next show. Something with Boolean in it, anyway.

  14. Mindy January 26, 2010 at 12:46 pm #

    Happy Birthday.

  15. mimbles January 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm #

    Happy birthday!

  16. The Coffee Lady January 26, 2010 at 6:04 pm #

    40? Yawn. I did that in December. You’re only just doing that?

    God, you are so behind the times.

  17. Kath Lockett January 27, 2010 at 8:44 am #

    41, yep, did that two months ago and found it harder than turning forty. I think it was because now I’m “in my forties” rather than just “forty”. Or maybe it’s because my eyes are starting to disappear under flaps of skin like Clive James….

    Green stuff sliding under the fridge? It’s always the leftover bunch of coriander at our place.


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