The interwebs, she be broken over here. Not entirely broken, but slow as a wet week, as my mother used to say. I can’t use that saying, because my children would have no idea what I mean. None at all. Though I hear Adelaide has had some rain of late. Not here though. Thirty eight degrees today, forty two tommorrow (according to the paper).
Last week, I spent five days without going outside once and remained surprisingly stable. Combination of sick child, sick self, injured child, too hot to care anyway. I used the gym upstairs – a small, but adequate arrangement, such as you might find in a hotel. It has a magnificent view, particularly at night, when everything is just sparkly. And the week that the moon is filling is always spectacular, would you not agree?
I did not cry once while I was living inside. Then, yesterday, driving home from a birthday party, I nearly had an accident, caused entirely by a man who was going too fast, changed lanes without indicating, then wound down his window and yelled at me. Knees, voice and resolve all wobbly.
The day before yesterday, I went back to bodycombat. It made me laugh, especially when I hit myself in my own face.
The lads have three and half days left of school. For some reason, which I can not fathom, because we are about to have twelve weeks vacation, the school needs to have only four days this week, and one of them a half day.
In one week and one day, the boys and I will be taking off for Spain. Because of reasons, the mister will be joining us after all, arriving sometime in early July (numbers, they just falls out of my collwobbles as soon as theys is entering them). It is awesome that he will be coming, though the reasons, they be not ace. (Sorry, we’re reading the BFG – yes, again – and none of us is talking like we shouldn’t. The BFG is so farwhopping, don’t you think? If you haven’t read it, you must, even if you not be havings chilluns, only you must be readings it out loud).
Then, the mister will come back here, and I will somehow find my way through Europe with my boys and get us to Edinburgh, whereats I will be performing my show in the Edinburgh Fringe. This thought, she is keeping me awake.
The mister will arrive just in time to watch my tech rehearsal (whatever that might be – what the fuck am I doing, I don’t know anything about this, all I know is words, whatever made me think I should be doing this, whose idea was this anyway), tell me I’m brilliant, and supervise children while they hand out flyers on the Royal Mile telling everyone to come to their mother’s show.
Life, she be fogwhollopping. Left or right?
adelaide from adelaide 
me and my kids say left or right all the time… rad
Best.Book.Ever.
…and I’m sure your holiday and show will be too.
Wait. You’re performing at Edinburgh. You are so way excellent.
I am mortified. All my life I thought it was “slow as a wet wig..” which I never understood but said anyway…..
NOW I understand…
Well, I can understand the trepidation but it does sound kind of exciting.
You are without doubt the coolest person I almost-know.
Mary, I am intrigued by your slow as a wet wig, what would/could that be about? A wet wig would slow you down, dripping water into your eyes, down your back of front. You’d constantly have to dry yourself off again. More painful that a toddler with a tantrum. I am so glad my child is fifteen now. He gets the sulks still sometimes, just not in public.
Tracy. I am so bloody impressed by you and what you are doing. I would never have thought, going back to our Kidlits days, that you would end up a stand-up comic at Edinborough.
Have you ever used the rude throwing out we got that one time. So funny thinking about it now, many years later. You were there, weren’t you?
Would never’ve thought it myself. Still wish I was a children’s writer.
Yes, indeedy, I was there – years later that event wove (weaved? weaveled?) its way back into my life – in the way that things do in Adelaide.
I was at a great poetry reading at Tea Tree gully last Friday night and one poet read her poem with the most deliberate and frequent use of the word ‘fuck’ I have ever heard. I think she wanted to make us all jealous about her glorious horizontal activities.
She didn’t impress any of the people I’ve spoken to since, and she sure will never be invited to be the guest speaker!
Oh, Adelaide. It is so easy to get people’s noses out of joint in Adelaide. Such a precious, prissy little town.
Of course, where I live is much littler, and the hissy fits are about entirely different things. Still very inbred though, like Adelaide.
You will be brilliant. As brilliant as the BFG. As brilliant as the first page of YOUR NOVEL which I read on craft camp this weekend. Holy guacamole YOU WROTE A NOVEL YOU BRILLIANT THING.
Yay.
Lordy Suse I hope you read more than the first page! Otherwise you will have to wait til Tracy releases the audio version of her book and listen to it in the car.
The week here has been wet, as was last week, so my kid is finding out what the phrase means (although now I will possibly start saying “wet wig” instead) and my partner is looking for the lost beanie. We’re very relieved to have a large carport to play under outside, makes a wet wig so much easier to get through.
I allowed myself only the first very delicious page, and then handed the book back to its owner with a squeal of delight. (She is thoroughly enjoying it, although I will let her comment here).
I have purposely not yet purchased it, until semester is over (which is tomorrow, according to my essay deadline, yay!) because there is no way I could have it in my house and not read it instantly, and I just must NOT right now. But as of tomorrow, I will be buying, and savouring.
(I did go to my library’s online page and fill in the ‘Suggest a Purchase’ form, when I became aware that they do not have a copy. Does that improve my brownie points tally?)
youse are lovely
also, wet wigs, heh heh heh…I don’t think I’ll ever say wet week again
That was my copy Suse read by the way and it is very good and I seriously need to send it to you when I’ve finished so you can sign it for me. Seriously.
Also. reading the BFG aloud is one of my favourite things.
Get on with your script, woman.