In my defence, we catch public transport nearly every day and no one has ever said anything before

15 Oct

“Funniest thing I ever saw,” said the tram conductor as he perched himself on the seat behind Adelaide’s children, allowing him to make eye contact with Adelaide while at the same time directing the flow of his words into her children’s ears, “young* mother gets on the tram, validates her own ticket, and I tell her what I just told you, that the kids pay if they’re five or over and she says ‘he’s not five’.”

The tram conductor shook his head conspiratorially.

“But then, of course, the kid pipes up ‘yes, I am'”

Even the next day as she wrote about the incident on the interwebs Adelaide’s heart still beat a bit too fast and dots swam before her eyes.

“So I had no choice but to make her buy the ticket.”

The tram conductor allowed room for a small silence. The woman beside Adelaide shuffled a little in her seat. Adelaide maintained the eye contact with the tram conductor .

The tram conductor spoke again.

“Kids, hey? They’re very proud of their age.”

And had it not transpired that, for the first time in his life, her youngest child had remained COMPLETELY SILENT WHAT’S WITH THAT BUT LET’S TAKE WHATEVER SMALL GIFTS THE UNIVERSE SENDS it could have been the most embarrassing moment in Adelaide’s life, except that she had once been standing on a stage dressed as Minnie Mouse and wet her pants.

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*as with many people, he was using the young awkwardly to mean ‘mother of young children’ rather than ‘mother who is young’
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9 Responses to “In my defence, we catch public transport nearly every day and no one has ever said anything before”

  1. tut-tut October 15, 2008 at 8:34 am #

    aah; perfect arc.

  2. SQ October 15, 2008 at 10:42 am #

    You do make me laugh.

  3. suse October 15, 2008 at 11:45 am #

    I am laughing out loud, alone in my house today.

  4. Mummy Crit October 15, 2008 at 3:40 pm #

    That’s a fab story 3C. One to tell when he’s big.

  5. Helen October 16, 2008 at 4:00 am #

    You have trams in Adelaide now?

  6. ThirdCat October 16, 2008 at 2:07 pm #

    From the city to glenelg (and conveniently close to my place)

  7. Pen October 17, 2008 at 6:57 pm #

    Hahahaha. In Brisbane the bus drivers rarely let you pay for children who look approximately five. They say ‘the young feller must be younger than five’ wink wink. And the young feller is thankfully appalled at the insensitivity of the bus driver and cannot speak coherently for at least seven minutes. Win win.

    No trams, but.

  8. Helen October 18, 2008 at 5:20 pm #

    …You have…conductors in Adelaide…?

    Ours were all thrown out of work by Jeff Kennett.

  9. kate October 20, 2008 at 11:35 am #

    My uncles took my brother to the cricket when he was a young teenage type person and tried to convince the attendents that he was (despite being taller than both uncles) in fact only twelve and not required to buy an adult ticket.

    Despite presentation of his public transport concession card, they eventually gave in and paid full whack so as not to miss the morning’s play.

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