Well, that’s a relief

6 Aug

After a few good days, I’ve had the blahs today.

They are to be expected, the blahs.

On the one hand, I feel the relief that everyone says you feel. I have time to myself again, the stress of the uncertainty has gone, and I feel like I can start making decisions again. I feel freedom. On the other hand, that freedom has come at the highest price a little girl can pay.

And so, in a way, I’m rather relieved that the blahs are back. The good days were starting to be a little disconcerting.

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2 Responses to “Well, that’s a relief”

  1. ampersand duck August 6, 2008 at 8:25 pm #

    Gawd, there’s no rules with this sort of malarky. It’s such an intensely personal thing, grief, isn’t it? I haven’t lost a parent (yet) but I can only think that there’s a part that recognises the loss as completely natural, yet still thinks it’s completely unfair (the little girl part?).

  2. tut-tut August 7, 2008 at 1:55 am #

    It’s a big openness at this point. Almost an empty-ness, but not quite. Kind of a holeyness.

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