Oh dear. Oprah made sense

22 Mar

Adelaide, who watched Dr Phil because it was safer than seducing the postie again, was watching Oprah while the Commonwealth Games were on. It meant delaying her lunch by an hour, but that’s the beauty of working from home.

And so it was that she was able to catch up with the man who had brought He’s Just not that into You to the rest of the world. It was a book – a trend, a movement – which had previously passed Adelaide by. As these things so often do.

Adelaide took a spoon of the reheated pasta she was having for lunch as she listened to the women asking this experienced man for his advice.

‘We’ve been running in the mornings for about two months, and he emails me every now and then, but he never asks me out,’ one woman says.

‘Well,’ the man – whose name Adelaide hadn’t quite caught – leaned forward in his seat. Goodness, Adelaide thought. What wise words is going to offer this woman? The man spoke. ‘He’s just not that into you,’ he said.

Oh, Adelaide thought. It seems so brutal, doesn’t it?

She scooped as much mushroom onto her spoon as she could. It was a good decision to buy the small swiss buttons this week. She took another spoon. And she was glad she had changed from Bulgarian to Danish feta this week. It’s hard to break out of shopping ruts, but it’s always worth the effort, she thought.

Adelaide listened to the next couple.

‘He says that he loves me, but he’s not in love with me,’ the woman said.
‘It’s timing as much as anything,’ the man said. ‘I think I want to marry her, but I’m just not sure.’

It was obvious what the author man was going to say. But it was Oprah took Adelaide by surprise.

‘It’s okay to have doubts,’ Oprah said (or something quite close to that). ‘If you’re having doubts it usually means no.’

Oh dear, Adelaide thought. Is this the light bulb moment Oprah was famous for.

‘Remember how yes feels,’ Oprah said (or something quite close to that).

Adelaide looked into her bowl. There was enough for two spoons left. Should she eat the last of the mushrooms first? Or the last of the feta first?

”Yes’ resonates,’ Oprah said.

Oh, Adelaide thought. Could it be as simple as this? Could all the sleepless nights be left behind after just half an episode of Oprah?

What if yes resonates in your heart and your soul and in your very depths. But your brain – which knows all of the dangers – is screaming no?

Adelaide chose the spoon of mushrooms and chewed them slowly, waiting for the ads to come on.

She couldn’t wait for the Commonwealth Games to finish. Dr Phil never made Adelaide think like this.

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